Tag Archives: Parents

Parenting…


I found this through StubleUpon and it was really funny…

UCB Parents Jokes & Quotes:
Parenting Test

HOW TO KNOW WHETHER OR NOT YOU ARE READY TO HAVE A BABY

MESS TEST

Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in the wet flower bed and rub on the walls.

Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer. 

Obtain a 55-gallon box of Legos. (If Legos are not available, you may substitute roofing tacks or broken bottles.) Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream (this could wake a child at night).

GROCERY STORE TEST

Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with you as you shop at the grocery store. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage.

DRESSING TEST

Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a small net bag making sure that all arms stay inside.

FEEDING TEST

Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with water. Suspend from the ceiling with a stout cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to insert spoonfuls of soggy cereal (such as Fruit Loops or Cheerios) into the mouth of the jug while pretending to be an airplane. Now dump the contents of the jug on the floor.

NIGHT TEST

Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8 to 12 pounds of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 8:00 PM begin to waltz and hum with the bag until 9:00 PM. Lay down your bag and set your alarm for 10:00 PM.Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have ever heard. Make up about a dozen more and sing these too until 4:00 AM.  Set alarm for 5:00 AM. Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.

PHYSICAL TEST

Obtain a large bean-bag chair and attach it to the front of your clothes. Leave it there for 9 months. Now remove 10% of the beans.  Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read it quietly for the last time.

FINAL ASSIGNMENT

Find a couple who already have a small child. Lecture them on how they can improve their child’s discipline, patience, tolerance, toilet training, and table manners. Suggest many ways they can improve. Emphasize to them that they should never allow their children to run wild.  Enjoy this experience. It will be the last time you will have all the answers.

 


Fun Ways to Play with Paint


With summer break coming up, I thought it might be a good idea to be armed with a few extra activities and ideas!

Fun Ways to Play with Paint – Parenting.com.


All About Relationships


Colossians 3:18-4:6

This will be the last passage we look at here from Colossians- at least for this season! Paul basically wraps it all up by reminding us how we should treat one another. And it all comes down to this statement: You are serving the Lord Christ.

Everything we do, everyone we interact with, every time we are with people or thinking of people, in it all, we should be Christ focused. Our relationships with other people matter to Jesus because they reflect our relationship with Jesus.

What do you think?


Happy Mother’s Day


The dancing babies are kind of creepy, but Anita Renfroe is pretty funny!


Generation Love


I have something to admit. I like watching Nickelodeon and Disney Chanel. Sometimes I say it’s because of my job and I’m keeping up with the kids in our church, but the truth is that I would probably watch a bit now and then anyway! So yesterday I tuned in to Nick for a few minutes and was amazed at what I saw.

Jennette McCurdy, one of the stars from Nickelodeon’s iCarly, has a new music video and it aired on Nick yesterday. I managed to catch it just in time and was seriously impressed. First, I was impressed because I didn’t realize that she could sing! And then I began to listen to her lyrics and was even more impressed.

Her new song, Generation Love (video below), asks the question what will future generations say about our current generation? The song (I’m not sure if she is soling responsible for the lyrics) answers that question by asking if this generation could maybe be known as the Generation Love. What struck me though is there seems to be desire for a genuine, deep, authentic love. Not a fluffy, feel-good, kind of love. But the kind that is lasting and giving.

So it got me thinking. What this song really indicates to me is that there is a genuine interest in real love. The kind of love that Jesus shows us and calls us to. It made me excited because if this is a true indication of the questions and searching that this generation has, then it means to me that we, as followers of Jesus, have an awesome opportunity to present His love!

Now I know that there is, for many, a very shallow desire for love. And some are only motivated towards acts of kindness in order to make much of themselves… But I think we have a chance to give depth to acts of love and mercy. We have the opportunity to engage in showing and talking about what true love means. We have an incredible opportunity to shape this generation- if we take it.

And how do we shape this search for a generation of love? I think a good starting place is 1 John 3:11-24

11For this is the message that you have heard from the beginning, that we should love one another. 12We should not be like Cain, who was of the evil one and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his own deeds were evil and his brother’s righteous. 13Do not be surprised, brothers, that the world hates you. 14We know thatwe have passed out of death into life, because we love the brothers. Whoever does not love abides in death. 15Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know thatno murderer has eternal life abiding in him. 16By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. 17But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him? 18Little children, let us notlove in word or talk but in deed and in truth. 19By this we shall know that we are of the truth and reassure our heart before him; 20for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything. 21Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence before God; 22andwhatever we ask we receive from him, because we keep his commandments and do what pleases him. 23And this is his commandment, that we believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ and love one another,  just as he has commanded us. 24Whoever keeps his commandments abides in God, and God in him. And by this we know that he abides in us, by the Spirit whom he has given us.

I think this truth in 1 John is “the old song calling our name…” I think this is how we help shape “the generation on the rise…” I think this is where we begin actually being Generation Love….

Generation Love

I found a picture of a mother in her bell-bottom jeans.
flowers in her hair, two fingers up for peace.
In that Polaroid she smiled, a grown up baby boomer
Maybe momma walked down the wild side, walking on the moon
What will they say about us

I’ve heard stories about my grandpa
child of the great depression
how growing up broke creates and deep and dark impression
He sits in a rocker, down at the veterans home
even when I got to visit he still rocking all alone

What will they say about us,
they call us generation lost or
generation greed or the connected generation
to a plasma screen or a generation why enough is not enough

Or maybe they’ll call us….generation love
Generation love

We are children of divorce
Victims of dysfunction
We spell check of course
And gps the proper junction
We’ve gotten pretty good at
Shifting all the blame

But I think I hear an old song
Calling my new name
Generation love

Not generation lost
Or generation greed
or the connected generation
to a plasma screen or a generation
or a generation why enough is not enough
Or maybe they’ll call us
Generation love

Ohhhh generation love
When they open up our time capsule
a hundred years from now
Maybe they will look inside
And see we figured out
How to live for less and give ourselves away
Just maybe they’ll call us,
Just maybe they’ll call us
Generation love

We are a brand new generation on the rise
Generation love
We are a brand new generation on the rise
Generation love

Ohhh generation love


Obey


Experience scripture through the activity-based learning exercise. Dinner is a perfect time to engage the family.  This activity is especially good for younger children.

Design a small scavenger hunt around your house in which the object is to collect what they are instructed to collect and return with it for the next instruction. Have two sets of directions and break your family into teams. Have the instructions be simple like, “Find a red shoe. Bring back one puzzle piece.  Find a baby picture.” After everyone has finished with their clues, have everyone talk together about what was easy or hard about the hunt.

Then ask, what would have happened if someone argued about the instructions? What if you brought back the wrong thing and couldn’t get the next instructions? What if you wasted time looking for your object?

Obeying God is kind of like this game. God wants us to listen to His instructions and the just do them! When we just do the instructions and obey God, things work well and God is able to teach us more. But if we ignore God’s instructions, things do not work out so well.

Read Elijah’s story in 1 Kings 18. What is amazing to you about this story? What do you think God wants us to learn from this story- why would it be in the Bible? What makes obeying God easy or hard? What instruction do you think God wants you to learn and obey? How do we learn what God wants us to do?


Marshmallows!


How many life lessons can you learn from this video?